THIRTY-THREE

Tell me:
how does the world work?
Why does it spin so,
forever turning,
forever moving.
Why does the sun rise every day
and set every night?
Why does space move
with the flowing fabric of time?
Why does everything seem to happen without notion,
continue without thought,
and constantly, constantly advance,

and yet
we are still here,
still in the same place as yesterday,
as a thousand yesterdays ago?

Does it not concern you,
does it not bother you,
does it not affect you,
to think about the future,
to think about how all are interrelated?

A thousand thanks and praises should flow from you daily,
for the stable loving family,
for the considerate loving friends,
for the gifts that have been given to you
from the one that is highest.

And yet,
here you are,
pining, desiring, reaching
for the lowest, mistake of a creature.

What good does it do you to include me
in your life,
in your love,
in your happiness?

Do I not bring grief?
Do I not bring sorrow?
Do I not consume energy and time?

My selfish thoughts and actions
are what causes dissent.
The hurtful words I spit
are what causes pain.

But even more selfish,
even more hurtful,
even more paining
than the harsh bite of my words
is the ingratitude I see
every second
of every day.

This narrow scope of yours
is so sheltered,
so blocked,
so naive,
so fresh to this world,
how can you possibly understand pain,
sorrow,
fear,
emptiness?

I had to dig,
scratch,
claw my way through the nasty mix
of emotions and thoughts.
Those dark times were some of the most difficult.
To even just hope for a better life,
for one filled with happiness,
where all are content
was unthinkable.

But we pulled through,
we banded,
and we prayed constantly
for the help we could not receive anywhere else.

That is just the start,
love,
of a truly new beginning.

How many countless hours
were spent on pondering life,
to conclude with one value,
one moral of mine?

The same cannot be said of all,
but this level of understanding,
this level admired so,
must take time.

Be patient,
for if He truly deems it,
it will happen.

Turn to Him,
call to Him,
and ask
for that forgiveness,
for that intelligence,
for that knowledge,
for that understanding,
you so crave,
in this forsaken world.