THIRTY-SEVEN

what I can't say out loud
will come from here.

is it intentional

this shift in attitude,
this change of behavior,
the nostalgia,

you seem to keep having?

I hope you know
this feeling
of inferiority
I get
every so often.

don't think
it comes at random
or
that I make it up.

don't think
I enjoy
making drama.

but just know
this one thing:

what I do know
I will not understand

but my pride
ever lasting
ever dominant

will prevent me
from the actions
that are right

and will lead me
to the misery instead.

can you find me there
or will you misunderstand as well?